Cherishing the little moments

I mentioned in my last post that one thing I have really learned from the cancer that has shown up in my life and the lives of loved ones is that we should not waste any of the precious time we are given here.  It was so bittersweet being away from my family for 5 days while I was with my Oklahoma family.  It was bittersweet because I was SO happy to be there, and ecstatic to be able to spend some quality time with my family and serve where needed.  But boy did I miss Drew and the kids.  I really had no idea how much I would "miss" them.  But, when you really stop and think about it, I usually spend almost every waking moment with the kids.  And yes, while it was a bit nice to have a break from kids and being "needed" non-stop, I also missed it after just a few hours away from them.

So this past week, I cherished even more than usual the special little time I get with them.  I loved the simple moments every day together.

raiding daddy's closet and huge shoes.

 

Last week I was also reminded about how cancer is always going to be a part of my life.  First off, I have to have regular doctor visits (currently every 3 months with my oncologist).   I also will likely need physical therapy most of my life (to manage issues related to having my left axillary lymph nodes removed).  In addition, any new symptom is something that sets recurrence alarms off.  While I was at my parents' house, my neck really began hurting.  Then, I noticed that both of my mastoid processes (the little bony areas behind the ear) began hurting (were tender to the touch).  I honestly just thought it was all due to my neck muscle pain.  But then my ears also began feeling "full" or like there was a lot of pressure inside.  A few days later, headaches began.  OK, I figured it would probably be a good idea to mention it to my oncologist's nurse to see how she recommended I get it checked out.  Perhaps it was just an ear infection, I thought.  Well, a few minutes after emailing her, I received a return email saying my oncologist wanted me to have a brain mri.  Just hearing those words, "brain mri" made little cancer recurrence thoughts creep back into my head.  I started going through all of the "what ifs" in my head, until I realized yet again that this is how satan has figured out he can try to gain ground with me.  It was a constant battle until I finally was able to go get that scan, a day later.  I prayed the entire time I was in the scanner.  Shortly after I arrived home from the scan, I received an email from the nurse stating my scan was completely normal.  Praise the Lord!  That was on Tuesday.  So, the pain was a mystery.  The pain has finally begun to subside and I am back into my every day normal.  I believe this is yet another way God has taken something meant for evil and turned it into good.  I got that news and found a renewed joy.  It is the moments like these that make you not take your life for granted.  Between that and the time away from my family, I have found myself cherishing every.... single..... moment with them and contemplating what God would like for me to do with the time he has allotted for me here on earth.  

I noticed myself getting the camera out a lot last week as I hung out with the kids.  They would do something that would make me smile, or just amaze me.  Here are a few moments and snapshots I want to remember.

I was changing Abbey's clothes one morning and she ran away from me, wearing only her diaper.  She ran to her baby doll bath tub, grabbed her baby doll shampoo bottle and told me she wanted to take a bath.

I feel like Abbey is growing up so quickly.  It's so hard to keep up with her.

Doesn't she look older in this picture?

Tonight, I was vacuuming.  Abbey asked for the Ipad and went into our bedroom.  She pulled up a game, which we love (Endless Alphabet), and began playing by herself.  I was sneaky and took a phone video of her playing the game.   Abbey loves to learn.  Last week when I was homeschooling Luke, she was learning right along with him, answering my questions, etc.  I saw a little bit of competitiveness between the two of them come out.  Hmmm....homeschooling could be very interesting with these two.  Anyway, below is a short video of Abbey and the Ipad (or click here).  

And this guy couldn't be any sweeter.  He asked to sit on the couch with me, cuddle and hold my hand every day this past week.  He also told me every day about how he missed me when I was gone.